Over the River and Through the Woods
by silentmidnightdeath
Summary: We three nerds from America far, got dragged by magic to where we are now. Corynn, Willow, and Leah get dragged on an adventure through time and space to Middle Earth. Wherein shenanigans ensue... and chaos reigns. Valar help Thorin Oakenshield and Company, because they may have just put a few more hiccups in their journey.
1. Chapter 1

"Over the River and Through the Woods"

My roommates are completely and utterly to blame for this nonsense. Disclaimer: I own nothing but myself and my interpretations of my own behaviors… And my roommates own themselves. (SMD: That is, until I succeed at mental domination, which is unlikely.) Weirdest disclaimer ever made.

I hope you're happy (WindyCorners) you inspired me so much IT WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE

Warning: This particular story has three authors, so be prepared. WindyCorners, Silentmidnightdeath, and astick wish you all a merry journey! (*snickers* A stick wishes you a very nice journey)

Corynn was sitting in the game room with her friends; well, it had started out as that, but had dwindled to the point where it was only three of them – somebody sleeping, and the two of them that were attached to their laptops. She tip tap typed away, working on an essay for one of her classes. Or well, that's what she was supposed to be doing. Really, she was just wasting time before she went back to her house. She had three roommates, and they were all honestly an odd bunch. It's not like some of them were obsessed with Tolkien, Supernatural, and Sherlock or anything like that. No, not at all. She was listening quite contently to Fall Out Boy while sitting backwards in the chair. By backwards, the chair was upside with the back on the floor, and that was the part she was sitting down on. You know someone somewhere has gotten an award when a chair is extremely uncomfortable unless laid on the floor with the seat as the back and the back as the seat. It's sad when you think about how much she pays to go to school here.

At least she had started her essay, having written an outline before she grew completely bored and fell to the traps of the Internet. Which meant that she ended up on Facebook, Tumblr, browsing Youtube, and not actually doing her homework.

She heard a vague buzzing noise from her bag and sublimated a groan. That was her phone vibrating. If it was that stupid dysfunctional group chat her freshmen friends had set up, she would be displeased. She pulled her phone out of her bag and opened the message. She grinned at the message before typing back her response.

After a little longer of banging her head against her homework, she grabbed her phone again, sending a second message to Leah. Mental break to Wildwood? The response made her grin and pack up her things, leaving the room and heading back to meet up with her roommates.

Leah stared at her blank screen. The cursor was really starting to annoy her. Actually, the flash, flash, flash of the cursor annoyed her. She groaned and slapped the edge of her desk. This was not getting any easier; she had been trying to write this paper for weeks and was getting nowhere with it.

Maybe Corynn is having better luck. Leah reached for her cell to text her roommate. Hopefully she'll actually read it for once.

Leah typed a quick text and sent it off into the ether. She sighed and stretched against her wooden chair. Maybe it was time for a mental break from reality. In other words, Pinterest. She and Corynn had a bad habit of sending pins to each other instead of doing actual work. Leah quickly decided against this course of action, and shut her laptop before she could get sucked in for the rest of the evening. She looked over at her bookcase and decided to grab one for a short read instead.

Some hours, and a lot of chapters later, her phone buzzed. It was from Corynn: Mental break to Wildwood? Leah grinned, and typed back a response, before grabbing her keys and jacket.

Willow sighed as she set down her pencil and closed her book. Two readings down, one to go. And I still haven't started my paper or my physics problem set. She groaned and planted her forehead on her desk. Why, exactly, did I decide to take Ethics? I knew that professor assigned way too much work. Brilliant planning. Absolutely brilliant.

She sat back up and dragged her history book over from the pile it had been sitting on when her phone buzzed. It was a text from Corynn: Mental break to Wildwood? Willow sent back a hurried Yes! and started putting on her boots.

The leaves were very pretty this time of year; the orange vibrant against the steel grey sky. The trio wandered through the neighborhood around the college, heading to a local park. It had been yet another long, stressful week, and they had much to complain about.

Wildwood park was one of their favorite haunts, a scenic park surrounded by a river, with a rickety wooden bridge connecting the island parts to each other. The only downside was that the park was guarded by an evil goose.

Leah had had a vendetta against the demon goose since freshmen year. The goose, for some reason, always has a gaggle of ducks behind her. Leah had dubbed the goose "Mother B**ch", and her roommates knew better than to let her near this it. But they dropped the ball on this trip. No sooner had Leah turned her back to head towards the swings, when she heard a menacing hiss behind her. She turned slightly just in time to see the evil thing charge at her.

Leah didn't stop to think, she ran. She took off down the path, screaming at the top of her lungs for her roommates to help. Her lungs started to ache and she wheezed horribly as her asthma kicked in. She slowed and bent over, trying to get her breath back, when the goose rammed into her from behind, slamming her into the fence on the side of the path.

She heard her roommates shouting before everything went black.

Corynn laughed as the goose chased her friend around, until the goose turned on her also. This is what lead to her running straight into a tree. As she hit the ground and stared up at the sky dazed, all she could think was: "That was a very nice tulip poplar."

Willow saw the goose before Leah noticed it but, before she could shout a warning, it had started charging. Willow ran after her friend, hoping to distract the goose or scare it away. She noticed Corynn laughing when the goose stopped chasing Leah and went after Corynn instead. She changed directions, still hoping to help her friends, when she tripped over an exposed root, went flying, hit the ground hard, and rolled into a tree. Ouch. That is going to hurt later. Scratch that, it hurts now. She suddenly realized her bag was still on her back. I really hope nothing broke. I hope my water bottle didn't start leaking. She really didn't want to deal with a soaked bag and a wet back; it might be warm, but it was still October.


	2. Chapter 2

Awakening with a pounding head was not a pleasant sensation. Corynn groaned and threw an arm over her eyes, hiding her face from the light that was shining straight into her face. Removing her arm, she sat up and gave her head a quick shake, trying to banish the cobwebs as she looked about her and took in her surroundings. And promptly burst into laughter at the sight of Leah staring down the goose in a death match. She clutched her stomach, trying to catch her breath as she cackled in her standard fashion. Clearly unharmed, once Corynn caught her breath she stood up, stretching her limbs and looking around. The first thing she noticed was that her very nice tulip poplar was gone, and sturdy oaks were replaced by slimmer trees of maple, ash, and other such trees.

"Soooo….anyone know where we are?" She inquired curiously as she rested her hands on her hips, observing the area surrounding the three lost humans and goose.

Leah rubbed at her eyes, and groaned. Something was not right, but her head was splitting too much to figure out what. She attempted to stand and muttered profanities when the goose hissed at her. It was glaring at her. Leah glared back, mentally going through the many ways she could kill it. She rubbed her head, praying that she didn't have a concussion and that the lump on her head wasn't as big as it felt. She looked around for her roommates, wondering if the goose had gone after them after she had blacked out. Corynn was standing near her, cackling away merrily. Leah growled and looked around for Willow. But something else caught her attention: the landscape was not right. Where there had been a park surrounded by signs of autumn was a forest dappled in spring light.

She heard Corynn say, "'Soooo...anyone know where we are?'"

Leah turned around a few times, wondering if her head injury was more serious than she had originally thought. There was no sign of the park or river. She caught Corynn's eye and threw up her hands in a WTF? gesture. Corynn shook her head in return.

Willow pushed herself up off the ground. I am going to have bruises in the morning. Ow. Why did I have to hit my back so hard? She looked around, spotted Corynn cackling like mad, and looked to see what she was laughing at. Leah and the goose were having a glaring contest; it looked like both of them were thinking of ways to seriously maim, injure, or kill the other. Corynn was right; it was rather funny. As Willow used the tree as a prop to help her stand, she noticed it was different. I thought the tree was wider than this. She looked around again, paying more attention to her surroundings. I know I slammed into an oak; most of the larger trees in Wildwood are oaks. This is a maple, and it isn't nearly as big around. What happened?

"Soooo….anyone know where we are?" Corynn asked while Willow was pondering the changed trees. Leah threw up her hands.

This is not normal. How did the trees change? Where is the park? Or the river, for that matter? Did I somehow manage to hit my head, or am I hallucinating? Or were we transported somewhere else, like in a bad fanfic? Willow looked around again; nothing was familiar. I still hurt from slamming into the tree, so this probably isn't a dream. How realistic do hallucinations get? On the other hand, everything felt so real. I almost hope we got transported somewhere. Although that would bring a whole other set of problems with it.

She checked her bag, still mulling over the issue of where they were and what had happened. Good, it doesn't look like my water leaked. Nothing looks broken, even the mirror on the back of my brush is intact. Why didn't I take that out after the last time I went swimming? She did that all the time; since she used the bag whenever she went somewhere with her friends and rarely took anything out, a lot of random things ended up in there. At least she'd remembered to restock her granola bars; wherever they were, at least they had some food and water. Not much, though.

Corynn caught the gesture and shook her head before shrugging - as if she had an answer. "Magic? We made someone verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy angry." She guessed, looking around for anything vaguely familiar. Unfortunately, no goose. Well, no luck finding anything familiar - there was still, in fact, a goose. Which was a miracle considering how much it hated Leah and she hated it. The copper haired girl snickered as she finally spotted Willow.

Leah went over to where her roommates were standing; unfortunately, the goose followed her.

"Guys, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Leah asked.

"I don't know - what are we seeing or looking at exactly?" Corynn inquired, blinking owlishly.

"Well, for starters, we're not at Wildewood any more...and what do you mean: 'we made someone angry?'" Leah asked, pointedly.

She shrugged, pulling a face. "I do not know. Lately things just seem to be angry at me, considering the happenings lately."

"Yeah, but still. Are you sure we both just don't have concussions? I did run into a fence...and you have blood dripping down your forehead."

"I do?" She blinked, and touched her face. "Nice to know." She shrugged it off. "Well, for starters, I do not have a concussion - because reasons. Ask the med student over there, not me. Also, it's possible we just made someone happy and they gave us a gift?"

"I am not a med student. Just because I'm a biology major in the pre-med club does not mean I'm going to be a doctor." Willow sighed. "I wouldn't be qualified to tell if someone had a concussion even if I were studying to be a doctor."

Leah growled, louder this time, and spun to where the goose was pecking for worms. "This is all your fault!" She snarled at it. It looked up at her briefly, and then resumed its work.

Corynn rolled her eyes and shook her head, her curls bouncing. "Don't blame the goose. It's not a bad goose. Just mean."

Leah glared at all of them in turn. This situation was not getting any simpler. She ran her hands through her hair, making it stand up on end, and then paced around the clearing trying to ward off the massive headache she could feel coming on.

"Hey look, there's some smoke over there." Corynn pointed out, admittedly in a very belated fashion.

Leah paused in her pacing, and looked in the direction Corynn was pointing. "Smoke means people...or something that is capable of making a fire. There might be someone we can ask for help from. I get the sneaking feeling we're not in Virginia anymore." She said.

"Woof woof." The copper haired girl added on, feeling the need to retaliate to the reference. "But I'm not Toto. So, let's go!" She said, marching in the direction of the smoke, unperturbed.

The other two (and the goose-no surprise there) followed her, and walked in relative silence, gazing around them.

It was a nice forest. The trees were a lot older than any Leah had ever seen. Everything was a vibrant green, with not a touch of the autumn colors she had gotten used to seeing. They came to the edge of the forest where the land opened up before them. There were still trees scattered here and there, but most of the land before them was wide, rolling green meadows and hills. In some places, these green fields were broken up by gardens and hedges. There was even a road, with a green verge, winding its way along. And there, set into the hills, were little round doors, and chimneys at the top of the hills - these were the source of the smoke.


	3. Chapter 3

Corynn was stunned - realization and recognition were immediate upon sight. She knew this place. She knew where she was, though she didn't know how she got there. Her next fully coherent thought was: " _I've got to do as much as possible while I've got the chance._ "

Willow stared at the scene in front of her, her thoughts a random, chaotic jumble as she recognized where the three of them had ended up. _This cannot be what I think it is. Corynn is never going to want to leave. It might be fun, though. Except for all the near-death experiences. At least we won't be bored. I wonder when this is, though. And what our being here is going to mean for the sequence of events. I'm sure we couldn't_ possibly _find a way to_ change _something. It isn't like we don't already know what's going to happen, or how to_ possibly _prevent it from happening, or_ anything _like_ that. _Sarcasm is a wonderful coping mechanism. Also, speaking of Corynn never wanting to leave, how are we supposed to get back? And how does the time difference work between here and home?_

Leah couldn't believe what she was seeing. There was a hill, and at the top of the hill was...a hobbit hole, exactly as she had always imagined. Everything clicked into place; and by the sound of her roommates gasping, everything had fallen into place for them too. Leah was getting ready to say something, when she heard a sound she had heard before and did not ever want to hear again: hissing. Not about to repeat the past, Leah took off like a shot and ran for the hill. She had just turned up the curve and busted through the gate, when she realized that there were a crowd of people in front of her, standing in front of the open door to the hobbit hole. A tall man stood just off to the side. She knew that she did not have time to stop, as the goose was right on her tail.

"GANG WAY!" She screamed at them, "Move your asses!" The group started to turn, but it was too late. She closed her eyes as she hit the closest head on.

Corynn watched as Leah tore off like a demon was after her, but it was just a goose. Snickering, she jogged up the hill to make sure that her friend didn't get into too much trouble - she could always find some way to call off the goose. What she saw was too entertaining to resist - Leah ran full tilt into a group of dwarves, and they all fell in an open door at the feet of a very surprised hobbit. And a tall man in grey standing beside, looking amused also. She just laughed, and it escalated quickly - into the howling, snorting, wheezy cackle that she adopted when she was running out of air. "What a lovely strike! Or should I call something else, as there were only four pins?!"

Willow promptly called out: "Spare!" She then started silently laughing at the scene in front of her.

The wizard chuckled quietly as the goose preened next to him, clearly finding the situation an interesting twist, albeit not one he had planned for.

Leah ignored her roommates' comments and kept her eyes closed, even after she felt herself done falling. She'd had enough of running into things for one day. Maybe if she kept them closed, it would all go away. Her fall had not been as bad as she thought; the poor people she had run into must have cushioned her fall. _Oh God_. She groaned inwardly. _This does not for good first impressions make_.

The dwarves, just as Leah had suspected, were not appreciative of being trampled and bowled over by a strange girl being chased by a goose. However, some did find it more amusing than others, as one of the dwarves also burst out laughing, standing up and brushing himself off before helping up some of the others. He also reached out to help up the oddly dressed girl, figuring she would need it considering the soured look on the face of their leader.

Leah felt someone grab at her arm, and blindly pushed them off; telling herself that it was all a bad dream, and Willow was going to wake her up and tell her she was late for class. She could hear people laughing around her, and that did not help. It was only when she heard Corynn call her name that she knew she couldn't fake anymore.

Corynn watched this with amusement, wondering when exactly her roommate would stop playing dead and get up. "Come on, Leah, up ya' get."

Leah slowly blinked open her eyes and gazed at the scene before her. Sure enough, she had fallen into the hobbit hole with the rest of the...dwarves. _Oh crap_. Leah thought, as realization dawned, _I am so screwed_. She looked up when she heard a deep chuckle above her, and stared straight into the eyes of none other than Gandalf the Grey.

"Well, my dear, you certainly made an entrance." He said, and wiped at the tears at the side of his eyes.

Leah couldn't find any words to respond with. She looked around again, at the faces of the dwarves and the distressed hobbit. She avoided the glare of one Thorin Oakenshield, who looked like he would very much like to skewer her on his lovely dwarven sword. Leah gulped and looked back at where Corynn was (no surprise) cackling once again. She was leaning against the doorframe to the hobbit hole, and holding her stomach. Willow stood just behind her, and was laughing as well. She finally attempted to stand up, and groaned once again when she realized how short she was still. It was NOT fair.

Corynn ducked her head as she snickered softly, finally having caught her breath from her maniacal laughing fit. "Special entrances are our speciality - even without the goose." She bit back another round of laughter as she made her way upright, pushing off the doorframe, a lopsided smile tugging on her lips in amusement.

Leah glared at Corynn; she wished she could disappear into Bilbo's lovely woodwork. They had been in Middle Earth less than one day and she had already made an enemy of the dwarves and possibly Bilbo...not to mention that she had brought an enemy in the form of a demon goose with her. She stepped back close to the wall and sat down on one of the many trunks lining the hallway, hoping nothing else would happen if she just sat still. A few of the dwarves were still looking at her curiously. Bilbo had his hands in his hair, and looked almost as shocked as she felt. A few of the dwarves snickered as they spied the matching looks of terror on Leah and Bilbo's faces.

Running a hand through her flyaway curls, Corynn observed the faces around her, trying her best to match faces to names as she listed all the dwarves in her mind. She wasn't foolish enough to call them all by name until they introduced themselves, no reason to cause unnecessary questions. She walked over to Leah, patting her shoulder. She looked at Bilbo and saw that he was basically having a mental breakdown. "Well, at least now each of you have stress buddies. Leah, have fun. Don't kill him. We want to keep nice things."

Leah whimpered in response, and hid her face in her lap. She did not need the visual that Corynn had given her. _I am so not ready for this_. She thought. _In no way am I mentally ready for this_.

Corynn, as per usual, regretted nothing that had come out of her mouth. Though she was given several odd looks when she called Bilbo a "nice thing". She then belatedly realized that she had just made a display of incredibly bad manners by simply waltzing into someone's home. "Oh, oops." She mumbled, tugging on one of her curls in a nervous gesture. "Err…Sorry about...all this," she waved her hands in a large general motion, "by the way."

"It's not my fault! It's that damn goose's! I hate geese, anyway." Leah wailed from her spot on the trunk. Her voice was slightly muffled, since her head was still ostriched in her lap.

The wizard chuckled and shook his head - if for nothing else, the strange trio made for an excellent source of entertainment. "Now, I don't suppose I could have your names?"

Corynn shook her head, realizing the Leah was basically catatonic and breaking down, and Willow was too busy gasping for air on the floor. "Most certainly. I'm Corynn. And the one having a breakdown is Leah, and the one dying over there is Willow." She explained, pointing to each of them in turn.

At hearing her name being introduced, Leah untucked one of her arms and waved it about in a _hello_ gesture.

Willow was off to the side, laughing silently. She was having trouble stopping when she heard Corynn introduce her and Leah. She immediately sobered up and started looking at her surroundings. _A hobbit hole, a tall man with a pointy grey hat and a stick, a bunch of dwarves, this is starting to sound far too familiar… Oh no. Please, please,_ someone _tell me this isn't what I think it is. Oh, this can_ not _turn out well._

The old wizard nodded his head and stood up straight to introduce himself. "I am Gandalf the Grey."

 _I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. This is Bilbo's house, he's meeting the dwarves, and we're going to get dragged along on their crazy adventure, aren't we?_ Willow thought resignedly.

Leah listened to Gandalf introduce himself, but still kept herself tucked up in a ball. She felt someone touch her head lightly. She heard a deep laugh and that someone say, "All you alright, lass? You were going pretty fast. You might have broken something." Leah looked up at the biggest of all the dwarves. He looked like three of them put together. Oh God, he was smiling at her. Leah attempted to answer, but burst out crying instead. She'd had enough.

Corynn turned to look and saw the water works, sighing deeply. The poor dwarf who had tried to comfort her friend looked worried, glancing around in a panic, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. The copper haired girl approached her friend, setting her hands on her shoulders. "Deep breaths. Calm. Calm." She repeated the words, in a steady and relaxing tone, using the tone she used when she worked with children who were distraught.

"But, but, but." Leah hiccoughed. "First the goose, and now the dwarves. And, and...that one was being so nice even though I ran him down...and _That One_ still looks like he wants to kill me!"

Leah waved her hands around, trying to show how out of place she felt. A few of the dwarves took a step back from her, looking at each other worriedly. She noticed this and wiped at her eyes.

Corynn sighed as she continued to be frantic. She smiled reassuringly at the large dwarf - Bombur - and then turned her attention to the menacing face of the dark haired dwarf. "You will cease your glaring or else." She commanded, her eyebrows pulling down over her eyes as she gave out her best death glare - and she gave as good as she got. "And by or else, I mean I am going to pick up that sword," she pointed to one that was conveniently leaning against the wall next to her - it was the largest in the group as well, "and hit you with it." She knew her skills were sufficient in this area to provide, at the very least, a challenging fight. "I like my things not broken, and _you_ are breaking my things."

Willow smiled evilly, glad of the shadows obscuring her face. She could see Corynn doing exactly that, and probably doing a lot of damage to whoever tried to stop her. Corynn was one of the best sword fighters at the school. And, if Corynn did start laying into the dwarves, Willow would help. _No one_ messed with her friends. _No one._ After all, she hadn't been studying martial arts for the past decade or so without picking up a few things. She could handle herself in a fight.

Leah laughed a little at that. She knew that Corynn _would_ fight Thorin for her. She wiped her eyes again and stood up, trying to get some sense of her self-respect back. She tucked her hair behind her ears, and said, "Thanks, Corynn, but I can fight my own battles."

To this, Corynn gave an exaggerated bow, her hair flopping into her face. "It is always an honor, my lady." She bit back a laugh at her own silliness as she straightened up.

Leah looked pointedly at Thorin and said, "I'm terribly sorry for running you all over like that. But to be fair, I _did_ warn you all." She then looked at Bombur and grinned, "Thank you, as well. I'm sorry to scare you like I did."

The large dwarf smiled back at her, pleased that she was now at least somewhat recovered from her ordeal. "It's nothin' lassie."

Leah grinned wider, and stepped away from the safety of the wall. She moved closer to Corynn and tried to look more in control than she actually felt. It wasn't easy.

Corynn was stunned - realization and recognition were immediate upon sight. She knew this place. She knew where she was, though she didn't know how she got there. Her next fully coherent thought was: " _I've got to do as much as possible while I've got the chance._ "

Willow stared at the scene in front of her, her thoughts a random, chaotic jumble as she recognized where the three of them had ended up. _This cannot be what I think it is. Corynn is never going to want to leave. It might be fun, though. Except for all the near-death experiences. At least we won't be bored. I wonder when this is, though. And what our being here is going to mean for the sequence of events. I'm sure we couldn't_ possibly _find a way to_ change _something. It isn't like we don't already know what's going to happen, or how to_ possibly _prevent it from happening, or_ anything _like_ that. _Sarcasm is a wonderful coping mechanism. Also, speaking of Corynn never wanting to leave, how are we supposed to get back? And how does the time difference work between here and home?_

Leah couldn't believe what she was seeing. There was a hill, and at the top of the hill was...a hobbit hole, exactly as she had always imagined. Everything clicked into place; and by the sound of her roommates gasping, everything had fallen into place for them too. Leah was getting ready to say something, when she heard a sound she had heard before and did not ever want to hear again: hissing. Not about to repeat the past, Leah took off like a shot and ran for the hill. She huffed and puffed her way up the slope and around gardens. She had just turned up the curve and busted through the gate when she realized that there were a crowd of people in front of her, standing in the open door to the hobbit hole. A tall man stood just off to the side. She knew that she did not have time to stop, as the goose was right on her tail.

"GANG WAY!" She screamed at them, "Move your asses!" The group started to turn, but it was too late. She closed her eyes as she hit the closest head-on.

Corynn watched as Leah tore off like a demon was after her, but it was just a goose. Snickering, she jogged up the hill to make sure that her friend didn't get into too much trouble - she could always find some way to call off the goose. What she saw, however, was too entertaining to resist - Leah ran full tilt into a group of dwarves, and they all fell in an open door at the feet of a very surprised hobbit. A tall man in grey stood beside, looking amused as well. She just laughed, and it escalated quickly - into the howling, snorting, wheezy cackle that she adopted when she was running out of air. "What a lovely strike! Or should I call something else, as there were only four pins?!"

Willow promptly called out: "Spare!" She then started silently laughing at the scene in front of her.

The wizard chuckled softly as the goose stopped and preened next to him. He clearly found the situation an interesting twist, albeit not one he had planned for.

Leah, from her position on the floor, ignored her roommates' comments and kept her eyes closed, even after she felt herself hit the ground. She'd had enough of running into things for one day. Maybe if she kept them closed, it would all go away. Her fall had not been as bad as she thought; the poor people she had run into must have cushioned her fall. _Oh God_. She groaned inwardly. _This does not for good first impressions make_.

The dwarves, just as Leah had suspected, were not appreciative of being trampled and bowled over by a strange girl being chased by a goose. However, some found it more amusing than others, as one of the dwarves burst out laughing, standing up and brushing himself off before helping up some of the others. He also reached out to help up the oddly dressed girl, figuring she would need it considering the sour look their leader's face.

Leah felt someone grab at her arm, and blindly pushed them off; telling herself that it was all a bad dream, and Willow was going to wake her up and tell her she was late for class. She could hear people laughing around her, and that did not help. It was only when she heard Corynn call her name that she knew she couldn't fake anymore.

Corynn watched this with amusement, wondering when exactly her roommate would stop playing dead and get up. "Come on, Leah, up ya' get."

Leah slowly blinked open her eyes and gazed at the scene before her. Sure enough, she had fallen into the hobbit hole with the rest of the...dwarves. _Oh crap_. Leah thought, as realization dawned, _I am so screwed_. She looked up when she heard a deep chuckle above her, and stared straight into the eyes of none other than Gandalf the Grey.

"Well, my dear, you certainly made an entrance." He said, and wiped at the tears at the side of his eyes.

Leah couldn't find any words to respond with. She looked around again at the faces of the dwarves and the very distressed hobbit. She avoided the glare of one Thorin Oakenshield, who looked like he would very much like to skewer her on his lovely dwarven sword. Leah gulped and looked back at where Corynn was (no surprise) cackling once again. She was leaning against the doorframe to the hobbit hole, and holding her stomach. Willow stood just behind her, and was laughing as well. Leah attempted to stand up, and groaned when she realized how short she was still. It was NOT fair.

Corynn ducked her head as she snickered softly, finally having caught her breath from her maniacal laughing fit. "Special entrances are our speciality - even without the goose." She bit back another round of laughter as she made her way upright, pushing off the doorframe, a lopsided smile tugging on her lips in amusement.

Leah glared at Corynn; she wished she could disappear into Bilbo's lovely woodwork. They had been in Middle Earth less than one day and she had already made an enemy of the dwarves and possibly Bilbo...not to mention that she had brought an enemy in the form of a demon goose with her. She stepped back close to the wall and sat down on one of the many trunks lining the hallway, hoping nothing else would happen if she just sat still. A few of the dwarves were still looking at her curiously. Bilbo had his hands in his hair, and looked almost as shocked as she felt. A few of the dwarves snickered as they spied the matching looks of terror on Leah and Bilbo's faces.

Running a hand through her flyaway curls, Corynn observed the faces around her, trying her best to match faces to names as she listed all the dwarves in her mind. She wasn't foolish enough to call them all by name until they introduced themselves, no reason to cause unnecessary questions. She walked over to Leah and patted her shoulder. She glanced over at Bilbo and saw that he was basically having a mental breakdown. "Well, at least now each of you have stress buddies. Leah, have fun. Don't kill him. We want to keep nice things."

Leah whimpered in response, and hid her face in her lap. She did not need the visual that Corynn had given her. _I am so not ready for this_. She thought. _In no way am I mentally ready for this_.

Corynn, as per usual, regretted nothing that had come out of her mouth. Though she was given several odd looks when she called Bilbo a "nice thing". She then belatedly realized that she had just made a display of incredibly bad manners by simply waltzing into someone's home. "Oh, oops." She mumbled, tugging on one of her curls in a nervous gesture. "Err…Sorry about...all this," she waved her hands in a large general motion, "by the way."

"It's not my fault! It's that damn goose's! I hate geese, anyway." Leah wailed from her spot on the trunk. Her voice was slightly muffled, since her head was still ostriched in her lap.

The wizard chuckled and shook his head - if for nothing else, the strange trio made for an excellent source of entertainment. "Now, I don't suppose I could have your names?"

Corynn shook her head, realizing that Leah was basically catatonic and breaking down, and Willow was too busy gasping for air, she took the lead. "Most certainly. I'm Corynn. And the one having a breakdown is Leah, and the one dying over there is Willow." She explained, pointing to each of them in turn.

At hearing her name being introduced, Leah untucked one of her arms and waved it about in a _hello_ gesture.

Willow was off to the side, laughing silently. She was having trouble stopping when she heard Corynn introduce her and Leah. With that, she immediately sobered up and started looking at her surroundings. _A hobbit hole, a tall man with a pointy grey hat and a stick, a bunch of dwarves, this is starting to sound far too familiar… Oh no. Please, please,_ someone _tell me this isn't what I think it is. Oh, this can_ not _turn out well._

The old wizard nodded his head and stood up straight to introduce himself. "I am Gandalf the Grey."

 _I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. This is Bilbo's house, he's meeting the dwarves, and we're going to get dragged along on their crazy adventure, aren't we?_ Willow thought resignedly.

Leah listened to Gandalf introduce himself, but still kept herself tucked up in a ball. She felt someone touch her head lightly. She heard a deep laugh and that someone say, "All you alright, lass? You were going pretty fast. You might have broken something." Leah looked up at the biggest of all the dwarves. He looked like three of them put together. Oh God, he was smiling at her. Leah attempted to answer, but burst out crying instead. She'd had enough.

Corynn turned to look and saw Leah's water works. She sighed deeply. The poor dwarf who had tried to comfort her friend looked worried. He was glancing around in a panic, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. The copper haired girl approached her friend, and set her hands on her shoulders. "Deep breaths. Calm. Calm." She repeated the words, in a steady and relaxing voice, using the tone she used when she worked with children who were distraught.

"But, but, but." Leah hiccoughed. "First the goose, and now the dwarves. And, and...that one was being so nice even though I ran him down...and _That One_ still looks like he wants to kill me!"

Leah waved her hands around, trying to show how out of place she felt. A few of the dwarves took a step back from her, looking at each other worriedly. She noticed this and wiped at her eyes.

Corynn sighed as Leah continued to be frantic. She smiled reassuringly at the large dwarf - Bombur - and then turned her attention to the menacing face of the dark-haired dwarf. "You will cease your glaring or else." She commanded, her eyebrows pulling down over her eyes as she gave out her best death glare - and she gave as good as she got. "And by 'or else', I mean I am going to pick up that sword," she pointed to one that was conveniently leaning against the wall next to her - it was the largest in the group as well, "and hit you with it." She knew her skills were sufficient enough in this area to provide, at the very least, a challenging fight. "I like my things not broken, and _you_ are breaking my things."

Willow smiled evilly, glad of the shadows obscuring her face. She could see Corynn doing exactly that, and probably doing a lot of damage to whoever tried to stop her. Corynn was one of the best sword fighters at the school. And, if Corynn did start laying into the dwarves, Willow would help. _No one_ messed with her friends. _No one._ After all, she hadn't been studying martial arts for the past decade or so without picking up a few things. She could handle herself in a fight.

Leah laughed a little Corynn's threat. She knew that Corynn, and probably Willow, _would_ fight Thorin for her. She wiped at her eyes again and stood up, trying to get some sense of her self-respect back. She tucked her hair behind her ears, and said, "Thanks, Corynn, but I can fight my own battles."

To this, Corynn gave an exaggerated bow, her hair flopping into her face. "It is always an honor, my lady." She bit back a laugh at her own silliness as she straightened up.

Leah looked pointedly at Thorin and said, "I'm terribly sorry for running you all over like that. But to be fair, I _did_ warn you all." She then looked at Bombur and grinned, "Thank you, as well. I'm sorry to scare you like I did."

The large dwarf smiled back at her, pleased that she was now at least somewhat recovered from her ordeal. "It's nothin' lassie."

Leah grinned wider, and stepped away from the safety and stability of the wall. She moved closer to Corynn and tried to look more in control than she actually felt. It wasn't easy.


End file.
